Arcs

I was put in a position recently where I got the opportunity to  finish something I started twenty-seven years ago. Once I really got into the work, something interesting happened.  I woke up and realized I’m a 46 year old man, and I have been walking in place for a very long time. Treading water. I’m not sure what to make of all that time. Where the idea had been to escape something difficult and unnecessary, I found myself up against a wall that was between a boulder and a hard place.  There is a rate of interest on an investment in arrogance. And boy does it  pay dividends in pain and wreckage. 

As the years pile up, there seems no avoidance of circles coming full. I spent a lot of money on tattoos and stickers that don’t mean as much as the gray hairs and lines on my face. Funny how you can’t fake that. And maybe how you can’t read it without learning the language in lifes’ calligraphy. 

Not a lot of things in this world are done in a straight line. And we don’t see much reflected in nature that doesn’t have some curves, or some wiggles in the tracks or the shapes they make as they life. And while every story has an arc, the rings or circles that become full in the course of a lifetime might be broken into arcs. Whether they be confined in a mad night, or across a cold blue sky.  I am so grateful for this little arc that finished this circle come full in this life. And I’m grateful that although a lot more of the stories of my life still waiting to be told await ahead. They haven’t  even begun to begun yet. There is so much more to come, and with some of these old jobs and stories concluding, I have space to start new ones. 

They say god won’t give you more than you can handle. So grateful that isn’t true. If it were, I would have never learned how much I need god.